“You’re trying to destroy my company!”
A client said this to me once. My intention had been to help😕. Yet, my helping had felt to him like a threat.
Do you ever find that your good intentions are misinterpreted by other people?
I see this dynamic happen a lot in teams.
Someone does or says something with the best of intentions, yet it gets misinterpreted, creating suspicion, bad feeling, arguments and eroding trust. For instance:
Zac: “He's raising difficult issues for the sake of it and making things awkward.”
Farah: “She's trying to undermine my authority and deliberately show me up.”
I observed this communication problem in so many teams that I explored it more deeply.
From this, I developed The Fear Filter.
The Fear Filter helps you understand why and how your good intentions can so easily land as a threat for other people. It offers an alternative approach.
Given the pressure most people are working under, there are likely to be fears and vulnerabilities in most rooms, around most tables and in most conversations at work, to some extent. Even the best of intentions can be perceived as a threat when they pass through The Fear Filter. Here are some examples of how this can happen.
When you’re raising an uncomfortable issue at work, take into account The Fear Filter.
Consider:
1. Being very honest with yourself: what are your intentions in raising this issue and speaking up?
2. Assuming the people involved will have deep-seated, natural human fears and vulnerabilities, how might your good intentions be perceived as a threat by them?
3. Anticipating this, how could you anticipate and offer compassion for the discomfort they might feel, whilst also courageously pursuing your good intention?
If you find resources like this helpful:
Together, we can BeTheCultureChange™
