Why would anyone listen to you? (or me!)
Old-style influencing relies on trying to get other people to do what you want them to do. Yet, who really wants to be controlled or manipulated in this way? It often breeds resentment, dependency, suspicion and defensiveness. It’s crucial to learn different, more liberating ways of influencing. So, why would anyone listen to you or be influenced by you?
Dr Jeanne Hardacre presenting on stage
As I approach the release date for The Culture Trap, I’ve asked myself many times: In amongst the international gurus, the renowned professors, the billionaire influencers and powerful business leaders, why on earth would anyone listen to you, Jeanne?
Consider this. How often do you compare yourself with other people at work? Am I better or worse? More or less significant, important, respected, influential, valued, powerful?
Comparing yourself with others can have an insidious impact on your self-belief and your potential to make your own unique difference. An inflated self-belief or a deflated self-belief are both potentially limiting. So what’s an alternative?
Anchoring is a practice you might want to develop. Anchoring means that whatever other people think or feel about you, your own sense of your value remains steady and secure. The wind may blow, the seas might get choppy, yet your anchor prevents your sense of self drifting and shifting at the mercy of the environment and the people around you. Yet, anchoring it doesn’t mean coming to a fixed mindset. Your anchor might move position over time, as you learn about yourself and grow.
Cartoon of a person in a yacht, with an anchor attached. Illustration by James Willis.
It centres your belief on: Being, growing and changing as I am – both imperfect and amazing – I can make a unique and positive difference now. It helps protect you from the fear that other people will see you as too much or not enough.
Ask Yourself: Which parts of your unique self would you like to bring more into your work? Choose one aspect. What positive impact and influence might it have if you brought more of this into your work?
Rather than comparing yourself with other people, put your energy into comparing yourself with the person you wish to grow into in the future. And then focus your energy on growing into that future you! Remember, you’re the only person in this world who can offer your unique perspective and contribution. Who knows who could benefit? Who knows what someone else might learn? Who knows what even more positive and amazing impact and influence you could have?
Chapter 4 of The Culture Trap is all about fresh ways to approach your Influencing - whether or not you have formal authority. It offers you 9 key influencing practices to embed into your everyday work.
There has never been a YOU before and there will never be a YOU again. So don’t keep it to yourself! Be generous with all your uniqueness!