Shall we just be honest?

Sounds so simple! Just be honest! And yet, in many teams and organisations, there is a lack of genuine honesty – and too often, this seriously erodes trust, collaboration, innovation and integrity.

If  you want to improve your relationships and culture at work, the starting point is being more honest about human nature - both the good bits and the aspects we’re maybe not so proud of. Honest about the amazingness of our human selves and about the stuff which isn’t as wonderful as we might like others to believe.

I see so many managers and leaders trying to lead people through change and stressful circumstances without ever having learnt to understand natural human responses to uncertainty. This is like trying to perform a surgical operation without knowing basic anatomy.

Not surprising, then, when team members end up taking their stress out on each other, taking their bat and ball home, griping from the sidelines, feeling miserable, quietly quitting, noisily arguing or leaving for pastures new .. and it’s only Monday lunchtime.

The cost of this is huge, on people’s wellbeing, on the bottom line and it really hinders what teams can achieve together.

Another reason for the lack of effective honesty at work is that it is often associated with a bruising, hurtful and damaging experience, such as in dreaded “honest feedback” conversations. When the norm is people talking about “putting on my armour” and “waiting for the whipping” before such conversations, it’s hardly surprising that honesty is something people prefer to leave until another day.

 Terri, a Chief Executive client on one of my programmes recently told me:

My team always used to present themselves as if everything's hunky dory in their part of the organisation and I’d be sitting there chuckling away to myself, thinking: either we're all deluded here if you really believe that, or you’re worried about telling the truth.

We’ve created the honest space to say - do you know what - some things are far from fine. And maybe we’re all part of the problem sometimes – not because any of us is rubbish or bad - but because we’re human. So let’s not pretend – let’s be real and have the honest conversations we need to have

Terri and her team jointly used The Imperfectly Human Invitation™ to enable more honest, real conversations about issues that really matter. This offered them the insights and skills they needed to stop pretending and to start being more honest at work about issues that really matter. 

The type of honesty which transforms relationships and culture at work is not simply saying whatever you think or feel. It’s about being Humbly Honest.

Being Humbly Honest involves being more open and explicit about my own imperfections and the part I play in dynamics, relationships and culture, before expecting other people to change.

It also provides you with a memorable framework to help you deeply understand why people behave as they do when they’re under pressure, facing change or uncertainty. Once you learn to recognise these patterns of human nature in yourself and in others, it will open up new possibilities. You will discover how you can work with more genuine, human connection, in teams where people want to work, enjoy their work together and focus on the best outcomes possible. These are the teams that thrive and succeed. 

Find out how your teams can improve their relationships and get even better results - attend our free Culture Clinic or contact Jeanne here