As good as it gets?

Here’s a small sample of the things people typically say when they approach me for help in their relationships, teams and culture at work:

If Only he would understand / take some responsibility / consider people’s feelings/ communicate better / show some leadership / be more transparent/ realise the damage he’s causing / turn his camera on / do his fair share / be willing to discuss options …

If Only she’d stop ignoring my emails / taking all the credit / being so stubborn / stirring things up / causing trouble / lying to my face / blaming everyone else / micro-managing us / avoiding the problem / being so childish …

If Only there wasn’t so much tension / gossip / racism / sexism / prejudice / toxic behaviour / incompetence / hypocrisy / top-down control / bullying / drama …

If Only they would invest more / pay better attention / take things more seriously  / make some decisions / do what they promise / just tell the truth / show some compassion/ take people with them / listen to our concerns / focus on results...

In a nutshell: If Only he, she or they would change!

It seems most people want change! And where do most people see change needing to come from?

Maybe you – and many others – are wishing and waiting for someone else to change things around here. Everyone is waiting for someone else to change. And so very little changes.

If Only keeps you and your colleagues where you are. And over time, it breeds frustration, a sense of powerlessness, leading to that familiar euphemism: “disengagement”.

In other words, people get hacked off and become resigned to this being as good as it gets.

When I work with leaders and people in teams who want to improve their work relationships or organisational  culture, I often hear the sentence:

“Jeanne, this is all very well but ….”

-        it’s hopeless because despite what I do differently, other people aren’t going to change

-        he/she/they (other person or people) aren’t capable of changing

-        this is inevitable due to the hierarchy and there’s nothing we can do about it

-        why should I make such an effort to change if other people won’t?

-        individuals can’t make a difference to culture

-        real culture change can only come from the top anyway….

All these are natural responses, rooted in finding very good reasons to stay safe and keep things the same, alongside complaining about how things are.

What difference do you want your leadership to make?

Do you want it to produce more of the same old, same old disempowering, controlling cultures at work and in society? If so, prepare to watch the exodus of talented  people as they resign, retire, emigrate or vote with their feet, leaving skilled vacancies you can’t fill. And prepare to see your existing operations falter as those people who stay quietly quit in post, doing the bare minimum to survive, or burn out, becoming chronically unwell.

Alternatively, do you want your leadership to cultivate a culture which is nourishing for human beings, with positive impact on the products and services you provide? Do you want people queueing up to apply to join your team, because your organisation or company has a reputation as a place where people get results, thrive and feel supported and fulfilled?

The choice lies with you. The way you lead is up to you - you get to choose! Whether you choose to perpetuate or interrupt existing patterns of power is one of the most impactful choices you can make at work.

And whatever choice you make, you will be sending a message and modelling what kind of future you want for yourself and for others.

Are you going to doubt yourself and other people, believing this is as good as it gets?

Or are you going to believe in your power, inspire your colleagues and head towards the future you really desire?

If you want to embed healthier relationships into your teams and create a more human-centred culture at work contact me to learn how.